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Common Tactics Utilized By Narcissists During a Divorce

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Narcissists are masters of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic that makes their partner question their own reality. This psychological manipulation creates a fog of confusion and self-doubt, making it difficult for the victim to trust their own perceptions and memories. During a divorce, a narcissist might repeatedly deny events that happened, twist conversations, or insist that their partner is "overreacting" or "too sensitive."

This constant distortion of reality can be incredibly destabilizing, leaving the victim feeling isolated and unsure of themselves. The goal is to undermine the partner's confidence and make them more pliable to the narcissist's demands.


In addition to gaslighting, narcissists often engage in blame-shifting and projection. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead project their own faults and shortcomings onto their partner.

For example, if a narcissist is unfaithful, they might accuse their partner of infidelity to deflect attention from their own behavior. This tactic not only confuses the partner but also puts them on the defensive, diverting focus from the narcissist's actions. By constantly shifting blame, the narcissist maintains a facade of innocence and control, further complicating the divorce process.

Triangulation and Smear Campaigns

Another common tactic is triangulation, where the narcissist involves third parties to create conflict and spread false information about their partner. This could include friends, family members, or even legal professionals. By manipulating these third parties, the narcissist aims to isolate their partner and discredit them.

For instance, they might tell mutual friends that their partner is unstable or untrustworthy, sowing seeds of doubt and mistrust. This not only isolates the victim but also creates a network of support for the narcissist, making it harder for the partner to find allies.

Smear campaigns are another weapon in the narcissist's arsenal. They spread lies and half-truths to tarnish their partner's reputation, often portraying themselves as the victim.

Financial Abuse and Control

Financial abuse is a common tactic used by narcissists during a divorce to gain an unfair advantage. They may hide assets, underreport income, or manipulate financial information to skew the divorce settlement in their favor. This can involve transferring money to secret accounts, undervaluing property, or even hiding valuable possessions. The aim is to deprive their partner of a fair share of the marital assets, leaving them financially vulnerable.

This tactic not only creates an imbalance of power but also adds a layer of complexity to the divorce proceedings, making it harder for the partner to achieve a fair settlement.

Contact Our Attorneys at Davis Law Group

By understanding the common tactics used by narcissists during a divorce and implementing effective coping strategies, you can protect yourself and your children from further harm. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Reach out to Davis Law Group for expert legal support and guidance tailored to your unique situation.

Together, we can help you navigate this challenging time and build a foundation for a healthier, happier future. (617) 752-6216

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